Tief und Langsam, Baby!

She is it. Everything else got to be a lie. No, not as in “I can’t live without you”. More like in “You’ve set the standards, sorry”. I do and can not believe that any other woman in the world could unite such strength and softness, such humour and deepness. No, nothing is impossible but this.

How well do I remember this first kiss. How well the first time our tongues touched, softly, later with much more excitement. And it drove me crazy as her nipples lay down on my bare breast. Unbelievable the feelings caused by her hands just touching my stomach. And when her lips began striking my ear, with her “special formula”… No, I must not tell you – this one’s far too private.

All these things happened in not much time. Give or take a month, make it one quarter of a year. Need someone to go to cinema, meet her mom, have you hair look like it could need a new style. Eventually ask her for that kiss. But then, she met that guy such is life, and fell in love with him. Just my luck. Went on for some time, wasn’t quite it. Another guy, and another. Fuck here, suck there, do it like they do on the discovery channel. You get me, all the row.

About two years later, summerly thunderstorm. A flash strikes through the electrized air as the plane is heading towards Berlin Airport, THX. Seems like some jerk in the cockpit forgot to switch off cabine loudspeakers, and so a clear voice permits for landing and warns about probable turbulences. Great fun if you ask me. And anyways isn’t there a storm anymore when I tap out on the wet but welcoming streets of Berlin. Tomorrow I’ll see you again. Actually, not that big a deal. More a question – how will it be? I’ve grown another head, won’t I be way to tall? She’s flirting with film stars now. Gees, you don’t believe how badly a man can be in fear.

Another night passes.

Next day, freaking clock won’t move… FINALLY! Off we go. Bus, end stop. Another one to take. Can’t come there without a present, can you? So make it a rose. A white rose, that means you’ve got nothing bad in mind, which is true.

Stop.

There’s some more words to tell, so you get me right. All I’ve written is true, but as mentioned already, does not mean I’d require her in any way. Question to self: is this true? Silence. Answer from self: yes, it is. A relationship cannot possibly work without two sides giving and taking equally. And I have given to her, I may honestly tell so. No great stuff, money, or journeys half around the world. Neither good sex. In fact, I’m still a virgin. But still I do understand that there are things – deep things – nobody else could ever give to her, and I shall soonly be supported in this understanding. Concluding, that would absolutely mean I was talking about a two way relationship, and about two souls having found their ways together.

The second bus contains some more hurdles to take. Hurdles actually that I love to take. A pregnant woman, and noone to let her sit down. And people talking in languages you have not heard before. Someone with broad Berlinish accent makes a compliment about your hat – thanks, and… what bus stop do I get off?? The person that made the compliment knows the way to go, she’s from here. So I get off the bus, find the street, follow it the wrong direction. 64, 66, 68, 25. 25? How the **** do they count here? Hmm, wrong street. Maybe ask in that shop, yup? Now, did you ever enter a shop, clothed like Casanova and with a white rose in your hand? I can certainly tell you, that girl behind the desk was kind of flabbergasted when she told me what direction to take. Then the phone rings, green button. Yes please? Oh, it’s you? Yes, I’m just crossing that river. Yes, that’s where I am. You just got home from work and got to dress up? Sure, I’ll do slow. Byeee… It’s always those shocks in life, when you think something doesn’t work out in the last moment but then it does. Can’t tell whether to hate or love ‘em.

After having another housenumber-problem which I will keep off you, I find her house. Unfortunately she didn’t tell me what floor her apartment was on, so I take the steps (as I always do, stopped caring about elevators. Ever heard about step pitches?). Yes. So I take the steps all the way up. And now? Mobile phone, ring ring. Yes? Yeah, it’s me. Heheh, a name sign on the door would have been practical. Fourth floor? Terrific, see you in a second.

Heart: Bumm, bumm. Bumm, bumm.

Sixth floor, fifth floor, fourth floor, ring, ring.

Heart: Bumm, bumm. Bumm, bumm.

Yes, just a second, okay? Oh my dear, she’s not yet dressed, something like that.

Heart: Bumm, bumm. Bumm, bumm.

Then (slow motion now) the door opens, I see her face, she’s got to see mine. Her lips (those lips that kiss with so much passion) form a hi. A wonderful hi, and so do mine. Our bodies move towards, we hug and kiss the cheeks. My hand… oh sorry, forgot to turn off slow motion again, well. So I hand her the rose, and she is overly excited as always. Yes, this is her, no doubt.